Walking Away (The Courage to Quit)
Nadene Anderson helped build a thriving family business - but walked away when success no longer felt like purpose.
NOMINATION
Melissa Richardson (67) is a mentoring and coaching expert. Over decades, she has established programs, companies and communities to provide mentoring support, including Marketing Women (1997), Art of Mentoring (2015) and Second 50 (2023). While co-founding Second 50 she reconnected with Nadene Anderson, who was struggling in her family business. She is inspired by the courage Nadene showed next.
I first met Nadene when she joined Marketing Women. She was a bright, well-spoken young marketing person, still in her 20s. We stayed in contact over the years. I don’t really know why, because I was never her mentor. But we stayed connected.
In 2023, she and her husband John visited Bellingen and dropped by our house. At that point I was setting up Second 50 and she had been running a family business with her father and siblings for several years. She was struggling at work and asked if I would coach her. I wasn’t coaching anymore, but I said yes to help her.
“The family dynamic was like a bad episode of Succession.”
As her story started unfolding it became clear to me that the situation in the business was toxic. The family dynamic was like a bad episode of Succession. It was sucking the life out of her. She was miserable and I could see she was losing her confidence. It made me sad to watch. Finally I asked her, “Just remind me again why you’re still there?” It was meant to be a challenge.
She didn’t take my challenge initially, but she joined Second 50 and came along to some of the programs we were running. She shared her story and found a whole group of women pushing her to be bold.
Nadene isn’t someone to take unnecessary risks. I wouldn’t say she’s risk averse, but she’s very measured in how she approaches life. Not impulsive.
And she’s incredibly loyal to her family, so I know she didn’t want to let them down.
“To be honest I never thought she would leave.”
To be honest I never thought she would leave. It was a surprise when she actually made the leap. She’s had the courage to leave a successful family business, earn a lot less money, live hand to mouth and be open to whatever emerges.
I feel incredibly proud of her.
NADENE
I was 31, and we were in the middle of the GFC, when I bought my first investment property in Rose Bay. My Dad said, “You don’t want to invest in property now,” but I did it anyway. I loved the process of renovating and when I sold, the profits were more than my annual after-tax salary.
My partner Johnny said, “Why don’t you just do this for a living?” I wasn’t happy in my corporate job at that time, and Dad said, “How about I come in as a financial backer?” So I quit my job, got married and started doing property development.
That’s when my work relationship with Dad started. At the time I thought it was amazing. He was enabling me to spread my wings and do my own thing.
I project managed a number of renovations and then became pregnant and had my first set of twins. In the early months of their lives I started asking myself, “What’s next?”
Ever the entrepreneur, Dad had discovered that a property near to one of his investment properties was being leased to a childcare centre for a big rent and a long lease period. “There’s something in childcare Nadene,” he said to me. And off I went to find out about childcare regulations. We tried to get a DA through for a number of the family’s investment properties, and were eventually successful with one, which was then leased to a childcare operator with a strong financial result.
Not long after, I had my second set of twins. I’m sitting at home breastfeeding and Dad says, “I think there’s an opportunity to do something in the NDIS space: childcare for children with special needs. Let’s look into that!”
With the help of consultants I got a DA through for a childcare centre for children with autism and developmental delay and instead of leasing, we started operating the business ourselves.
“Dad said, ‘You’re going to be the CEO.’”
Dad said, “You’re going to be the CEO.” So I ran the business from the beginning with no real experience or expertise.
Dad brought in three of my siblings to work in the business. His vision was to build ten centres in ten years, sell out for a fortune, each of us would own a property that would earn rental income after the sale, and we’d all be set for life. Mum and Dad always tried to do the best thing for us. So this all came from a place of love.
But it created a dependence, and I felt shackled to Dad’s vision. I was grateful to be in a safe, secure job but I felt inauthentic. I was the one telling everyone what a wonderful thing we were doing. It was all true, we were making a difference to families. But I knew that it was really about the money and the share I was going to take when the business sold.
“I was grateful to be in a safe, secure job but I felt inauthentic.”
There were ongoing personality clashes between me and my siblings. Then Mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer and Covid hit. Things got worse after that. Dad was grieving Mum, we were in lockdown in Sydney and I was trying to run a business in a hot zone with the rules changing every day. When the dust settled on Covid, I told the family I didn’t want to be CEO any more. I didn’t want my siblings reporting to me. I stepped down to Operations & Marketing Director and split the leadership role with my sister, who was the Clinical Director.
My confidence was being eroded. I had a high level of tension in my body all the time. My relationships with my siblings and my father were being damaged. I’m not proud of how I behaved at the time. I wasn’t my best self.
“Quitting the business felt like quitting the family.”
It was Melissa and the Second 50 community that first said, “You don’t have to do this.” But this was Dad’s big legacy play. Quitting the business felt like quitting the family. And financial security is important to me. We have four young children to support, and Johnny was in a bad business partnership at the time. My job was secure. I told myself I just needed to stick it out until we sold in a few years.
But it got harder and harder to stick it out. I remember hanging clothes on the line, wondering, “Who am I? What am I doing?” I just knew I was in the wrong place. In the end I told the family I was leaving.
Having walked away from my security and privilege, I faced the great unknown of what’s next. Finding a job proved much harder than I’d expected. Our mortgage lender put us on a hardship program. We couldn’t pay the school fees. It’s the worst financial position I’ve ever been in.
“Our mortgage lender put use on a hardship program. We couldn’t pay the school fees.”
But opportunity started to present itself. My husband had left that bad partnership, which had been a buyer’s agency. I thought I could pick up with some of Johnny’s clients where he had left off. It turns out I’m good at this. I’ve been able to close three deals, and I’ve started researching different agency business models.
I feel a sense of freedom. I’m not chasing someone else’s vision. I’m the master of my own destiny. After many years of feeling in the wrong place, I now have this overwhelming sense of being on the right track